Unplanned Pregnancy – She’s Pregnant, Now What?

*Editor’s note: Today on the blog a client’s family shares their story.  An unplanned pregnancy finds everyone in very different places.  No matter where you may be, you’re not alone.  We’re here for you.

It’s usually a night to enjoy with family. Maybe some reminiscing, some games, some laughter. And a sense of anticipation for the future. But this New Year’s Eve was different and the new year started so unexpectedly.

Our daughter had been putting herself through some difficult times, and after a time where she left home against our advice and entered a relationship we sensed was wrong from the start, she came to the point where she needed to come back home – just to have a place to live. And because there were others in the home who needed to see an example of what we believed to be wise and right about life choices, we did have some expectations about how she would conduct herself.

It was a disaster from day one, and it all came to a head on New Year’s Eve.

She had been out with someone from our family, and after an evening of worries and lies, she finally came home New Year’s Day. We had decided that we needed to be very firm with her, very very firm. No more lies, no more disregard for us and the others in our home, or she would have to leave. The choice was hers.

“I have no choice,” she said. “I have to stay. I’m pregnant…”

Those words hung in the air for a brief moment before thudding into the pits of our stomachs. It had happened. It was a fear we had lived with but didn’t dare to voice, except in prayers that it would not happen. Now what were we supposed to do? What was she supposed to do?

The one thing our daughter thought to do was to visit The Lethbridge Pregnancy Care Centre. It was a place she felt she could trust. She began by going there for a pregnancy test, and the Centre became a source of compassionate, caring advice. It was also a place we trusted to help, to give us some idea of what we should do, and to give good advice to our daughter.

It proved to be the right decision. Our daughter and the young man she was with at the time both met with client advocates. All the options and all of the consequences of each choice she could make were laid out before them. Both good and bad. Our relationship was still not very good with her. She needed a place that she could get advice without all the negative emotion we were dealing with. Emotions that might make her reject good advice “just because”.

And we were thankful that she was with people who would give advice that was complete and helpful. Our daughter started on prenatal care, and had help with setting up appointments and understanding what plans she would need to make as a single “mom to be”.

We are happy and thankful to say that our relationship with our daughter improved wonderfully, to the point where we were able to be a part of the struggle and joy that ended with the birth of a beautiful baby, and marriage to the young man who stood by her and with her.

But if we hadn’t been able to work with her, and help her, we know the Pregnancy Care Centre would have been there the whole way, providing more care and advice, and even providing clothing and other necessary items for both mom and baby. We are thankful that our lives as a family were mended, and we are also thankful that our daughter was able to have a safe place and people to journey with.

We are thankful that she didn’t have to be alone.

We never talked about needing the services of a pregnancy centre ourselves, but we were thankful when they were there for our daughter, for our family. You never know when you or someone you know might need a little extra help, for a small but a significant time, or as ongoing and giving of time as necessary. Whatever the situation, don’t choose to go it alone.