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She’s Pregnant. Now What?

She just told you she’s pregnant and you’re shocked. What do you do now?

Hearing news like this can be overwhelming and scary. You may feel stunned, terrified, even angry. This wasn’t what you had planned.

In a moment like this, it can be really hard to speak rationally and you might find yourself reacting instead of responding. Remember that your initial reaction will have a significant impact on your future relationship. She needs your support now more than ever. She may be the one pregnant, but this involves BOTH of you, and regardless of your relationship in the future, you need to work this out together.

So while you might be tempted to say things you could regret later, this isn’t the time to vent your anger.

If you feel like you have already “blown it”, it’s not too late to show her you care.

Focus on trying to understand what might be going on in her head right now. She might be terrified and unsure about what to do next. Encourage her to get information about her options and to speak to someone who understands what’s going on.

Here are some Do’s and Don’ts for this situation:

Do

  • Listen to her and remember that this involves both of you.
  • Stay calm
  • Be certain. ­ Ask her if she has taken a pregnancy test or seen a doctor yet.
  • Respect her feelings.
  • Take responsibility. She didn’t get here on her own!
  • Remember she can’t read your mind. Tell her you care about her, and that you will get through this together.
  • Help her to know all her options. You can find more information here.

Don’t

  • React out of anger and say things you might regret later.
  • Make decisions for her or pressure her into one choice.
  • Tell her it’s all up to her and not share your thoughts. This will just make her feel alone.
  • Blame her.

Let us help you both! The LPCC is a safe place to learn about your options and discuss your emotions.

Free.  Confidential.  No Judgment.  Neither of you has to go through this alone.

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We provide accurate information on all options; we are not a medical facility and we do not provide abortion referrals. All our services are free and confidential.