My daughter is pregnant – what can I do?
You just found out your daughter is pregnant. What do you do now?
This can be an overwhelming and scary time.
Maybe you feel shocked, disappointed, embarrassed, angry, or any other number of emotions. You may think: “All of her plans and goals – they’re over.” “Our lives are ruined.” “What will people think?”
Reality check: This wasn’t the plan you had in mind, but it’s not the end of the world.
In a moment like this, it can be really hard to speak rationally and you might find yourself reacting instead of responding. Remember that your initial reaction will have a significant impact on your future relationship. So while you might be tempted to say things like “How could you be so irresponsible?”, or “How could you do this?”, this isn’t the time to vent your anger.
If you feel like you have already “blown it”, it’s not too late to show her you care about her and love her.
Focus on trying to understand what might be going on in her head right now. She is likely terrified and unsure about what to do next. Encourage her to take her time in making her decision, and to speak to someone who understands what’s going on.
Here are some more Do’s and Don’ts:
- Remain calm.
- Remember that she can’t read your mind. Tell her you love her and that you are there for her.
- Listen as she talks about her feelings and plans.
- Encourage her to make rational, thoughtful choices.
- Respect her feelings.
- Help her to learn about all her options. You can find more information here.
- Find someone for YOU to talk to. She isn’t the only one facing change.
- Help prepare her for reality.
- React out of anger and say things you might regret later.
- Make decisions for her or pressure her into your choice for her.
- Assign blame or condemn.
- Disregard her feelings about the father.
Let us help you both! The LPCC is a safe place to learn about your options and discuss your emotions.
Free. Confidential. No Judgment. Neither of you has to go through this alone.
We provide accurate information on all options; we are not a medical facility and we do not provide abortion referrals. All our services are free and confidential.